Confined to our homes and, above all, to ourselves, we experience a mixture of sensations that are often hard to name. Among them is a feeling that may initially go unnoticed: grief.

Grief is not limited to the loss of a loved one; it also represents the absence of something we value. The loss of freedom, work, leisure, or even a sense of security leaves us vulnerable and powerless. Isn’t that exactly what many of us are facing?

To address this feeling, it is essential to recognize and understand it. Grief has phases, described by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her studies on loss. Although these phases do not occur in a linear order, they offer an emotional map to navigate this process.

The Five Stages of Grief

1. Denial
   Denial is the initial refusal to accept the reality of the loss. It is common to hear phrases like, “This can’t be happening” or “It’s not true.” This defense mechanism acts as a buffer for the immediate emotional impact.
2. Anger
   As the reality of the loss sets in, anger often follows. We look for someone or something to blame—others, situations, or even ourselves. This is a way to externalize pain, believing that force might alter our reality.
3. Bargaining
   In this phase, we internally negotiate with what has been lost, creating “promises” that seem to bring relief. Thoughts like “I’ll value life more” or “I’ll be more present” are common attempts to trade something for the alleviation of pain.
4. Depression
   This is when the loss is felt in its full depth. Feelings of helplessness, loneliness, and longing arise, often accompanied by despair. While this phase is painful, it is also essential to the process of acceptance.
5. Acceptance
   At this stage, reality is finally faced. The pain doesn’t disappear, but we become capable of moving forward, integrating the loss into our life’s narrative.

The Sixth Stage: Meaning

According to David Kessler, a grief expert, there is an additional stage: meaning. Finding purpose in what has been lost can transform the experience of grief into an opportunity for learning and growth.

How to Find Meaning?
Use this moment to reflect on what truly matters. Recognize the value of freedom, health, and the simple joys of life. Many people longed for more time; now, with this opportunity, it’s time to use it to contemplate, value, and redefine.

Tips for Navigating Grief

1. Acknowledge and Accept: Allow yourself to feel grief. Denying the feeling only prolongs the suffering.
2. Live in the Present: Practice gratitude for everything still within your reach. Focusing on the now helps bring clarity and peace.
3. Express Your Feelings: Crying, venting, or writing about the loss can be profoundly liberating.
4. Find Meaning: Ask yourself what this experience is teaching you. What fears have you faced? What aspects of your life have gained new value?
5. Cultivate Gratitude: After navigating the stages of grief, gratitude can be a point of arrival. It is where peace resides and where we find the strength to move forward.

Final Reflection

As author Victor Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning, once said: “Everything can be taken from a person but one thing: the freedom to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”

Even in the face of grief’s pain, we can choose to find meaning, learn, and grow.

If you recognize any of these stages in your life, know that you are not alone. Grief, although painful, can be a powerful transformative force. With patience and care, it is possible to move through the pain and discover the meaning behind everything that has been lost—and everything that can still be found.

References

1. Kübler-Ross, E. (1969). On Death and Dying. New York: Scribner.
2. Kessler, D. (2019). Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. New York: Scribner.
3. Frankl, V. E. (1959). Man’s Search for Meaning. Boston: Beacon Press.
4. Neimeyer, R. A. (2001). Meaning Reconstruction and the Experience of Loss. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.