Living in an increasingly digital era, scams have grown exponentially. In light of this, I was recently invited by Valor Econômico to discuss the psychological implications of experiencing a scam and how to overcome—and also prevent—these traumas. After conducting research and gathering practical tips on the topic, I decided to share this information here on my blog in a step-by-step guide.

Step 1: How to Avoid a Scam

The best way to avoid a scam is, primarily, to avoid believing in grand promises. In most cases, scammers exploit the victim’s desires and interests, making offers that appear “irresistible.” Always pay close attention to details. However, even if the promise is not grand, scams can still occur. Therefore, verifying the source before making any decision is essential. Unfortunately, many people believe they will never become victims, but it can happen to anyone, which is why prevention is crucial.

It is also worth noting that having a mental health issue can increase a person’s susceptibility to online fraud, making them three times more likely to fall victim, according to the report “Caught in the Web.” This heightened vulnerability is linked to various factors, such as difficulties in processing information, a tendency toward impulsive behaviors, and reduced energy levels.

Thus, deeper awareness of the risks associated with oversharing personal information online is fundamental. Moreover, investing in education to understand and mitigate these risks is essential. In the educational context, it is crucial to ensure students are adequately prepared to navigate the digital world safely, safeguarding their privacy and personal data.[1] Consequently, remaining vigilant about any signs of fraud is always important to avoid falling victim.

Step 2: What to Do After Falling Victim to a Scam

Even if you’ve taken preventive measures but still become a victim of a scam, the first step is to take action. Instead of blaming yourself, focus on what can be done to help you in some way. The first and fundamental step is to report it. This action not only opens up possibilities to recover what was lost but also plays a crucial role in preventing future victims. Additionally, promptly reporting the incident contributes significantly to mental peace, validating the feeling of having taken proactive steps. However, it is essential to acknowledge that, even if the report does not result in immediate recovery, the important thing is to have done everything within your power.

To illustrate with a real-life example, a person I assisted suffered a substantial loss of R$12,000 due to an online scam. Naturally, the experience led to deep frustration. However, through the therapeutic process, we were able to turn this negative experience into a valuable lesson. Over time, she began to reflect on her predisposition to trust others excessively, a tendency that made her vulnerable not only in this incident but in various other aspects of her life. Despite unsuccessfully pursuing justice, this experience motivated her to adopt new behaviors. She started monitoring her bank statements and transactions more diligently—a change driven by the fear of falling victim to another scam but also as a way to exercise more effective control over her finances.

Step 3: Taking Care of Mental Health After a Scam

Individuals with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) may experience intense and disturbing thoughts and feelings about a traumatic event that persist long after it occurred. They may suffer from flashbacks, nightmares, feelings of sadness, fear, anger, and avoid situations that remind them of the event. Adverse reactions can arise even in everyday activities, such as being informed of the need to make payments exclusively online, demonstrating the depth of the emotional impact of these experiences.

Beyond using education to prevent future scams, I recommend allowing yourself to go through the phases of recovery for mental healing. It is common for victims of scams to experience a kind of “grief” over financial, emotional, and energetic losses, facing stages such as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Each person goes through this process individually, but there are some general strategies that can provide support during this journey.

1. Understanding Attachment Styles and Their Influence on Online Scam Vulnerability: The connection between attachment styles and susceptibility to online scams is critical. Individuals with anxious attachment, who actively seek connections, may be more vulnerable to scams promising relationships or support. Conversely, people with avoidant attachment, who are more reserved about sharing information, tend to have lower risk. Recognizing our attachment style helps identify vulnerabilities and develop personalized prevention strategies.
2. Reframing Thoughts and Rebuilding Trust: Focus on transforming negative thoughts into assertive ones. This reframing effort is fundamental not only to alter your perspective on the circumstances but also vital in restoring trust—both in yourself and others. After a setback, such as a scam, generalized trust often diminishes, leading to widespread distrust. By actively reconstructing thoughts, resilience and the rebuilding of lost trust are promoted, essential for positive future interactions and emotional security.
3. Self-Reflection and Personal Growth: After experiencing a scam, it is natural to question aspects of your personality or decision-making. Use this moment for constructive self-reflection, identifying areas for growth and personal improvement.
4. Extracting Lessons: View each experience, good or bad, as an opportunity for learning. Focus on the valuable lessons that can be drawn from the incident.
5. Practicing Gratitude, Forgiveness, and Detachment: After managing the initial frustration, dedicate yourself to reflecting on gratitude, forgiveness, and detachment. These practices can significantly contribute to personal development and emotional well-being.
6. Building Resilience: It is important to recognize that life is full of constant challenges. Building resilience becomes crucial to navigate these adversities. This can be achieved through practices such as relaxation exercises and mindfulness. These techniques enhance the ability to face future challenges, encouraging intentional focus on the present moment without judgment.

Step 4: Using Mindfulness as a Support Tool for Recovery

To assist in this process, I have developed a brief mindfulness guide tailored to this situation. Select a calm environment and make yourself comfortable.

Imagine your life as a garden. In this symbolic space, some areas have been affected by challenges, such as online scams, representing losses and difficulties. However, there are also parts of the garden where new opportunities and signs of growth are flourishing, symbolizing hope and renewal.

If, when visualizing your life’s garden, you cannot immediately identify areas with new opportunities or signs of growth, it does not mean they do not exist or cannot be cultivated. This perceived absence may be an invitation to begin a process of planting and nurturing, representing a moment for deep reflection and intentional action toward growth and renewal.

Proceed with mindful breathing, following these steps:

1. Inhale deeply:

Direct your attention to the areas of your garden where new flowers and opportunities are beginning to bloom. Allow each breath to bring renewed energy and positive perspectives into your life, nurturing these new possibilities.

2. Hold your breath for a moment:

While holding your breath, reflect on your inner strengths and the resources available to you, recognizing your ability to overcome adversity. Consider how these challenges have contributed to your personal growth, transforming into valuable lessons.

3. Exhale:

As you exhale, shift your attention to the areas of the garden where plants have been damaged by challenges such as online scams, symbolizing losses and difficulties. While exhaling, visualize releasing tension and dissipating the difficulties, acknowledging that even the most painful experiences bring important lessons.

4. Repeat:

With each breath, notice how new opportunities become increasingly prominent, gaining vibrancy and color, while the damaged plants begin to lose their strength and relevance. This process symbolizes your journey of empowerment, where you learn to focus more on opportunities for growth than on past adversities.

As you practice this exercise, remember that, in the natural cycle of the garden, damaged plants decompose and transform into nutrients for the soil, promoting the birth and growth of new plants. Similarly, there may be leaves or branches that need to be pruned or removed, representing attitudes or behaviors that do not align with our ethical values. This pruning is essential to maintaining the garden’s integrity, just as reviewing and adjusting our actions are fundamental for our moral development. Likewise, negative experiences, when processed and understood, turn into wisdom, serving as a foundation for the development of new and beautiful possibilities in our lives.

When concluding this exercise, take a deep breath, embracing gratitude for the multifaceted garden that represents your life—a testament to your resilience and ability to overcome challenges. Direct your attention to the flowers in full bloom, each symbolizing a unique aspect of personal growth and wisdom gained. Allow yourself to appreciate the complexity and beauty of this garden, which evolves daily, reflecting your ongoing journey of learning. Recognize and celebrate the value of every experience, understanding that they contribute to the richness and diversity of your being, strengthening your ability to navigate life with grace and purpose.

I hope this article has been helpful in assisting you with navigating a challenging moment like this. If you know someone who has been a victim of a scam, share this article with them so they can gain the necessary tools to face it.

[1] WeLiveSecurity. (n.d.). Should cybersecurity be addressed in formal education? Retrieved February 1, 2024, from https://www.welivesecurity.com/br/2019/11/19/a-seguranca-cibernetica-deve-ser-um-tema-abordado-na-educacao-formal/